My "favorite" golf dress codes

It's a special type of human who relishes spotting and reporting a dress-code infraction. The findings of several psychiatric studies devoted to the phenomenon are inconclusive, though evidence suggests more than a mild correlation with repressed Oedipal desires. To dress like a good little boy and eliminate competition to “win” one’s mommy. The only aspect approaching certainty about these cases is that their motivation for joining private clubs is primarily for dress codes, with golf or other associative recreational activities as secondary.

Or more plainly, the thrill you or I get from sinking a long birdie putt is like what the unhinged individual experiences being the first to notice an untucked shirt.

If you’re concerned a friend or fellow club member is afflicted with this still unnamed condition, delicacy is important. Speak gently. Present oneself as an ally, not a threat, and try to guide them toward more rational ways of seeing. Golf’s participation surge and firm arrival into popular culture has ushered with it a revolution of style. For the first time, the very clothes we wear to play golf might also genuinely look cool in the real world—at a restaurant or concert or place of commerce. For people whose greatest comfort is knowing everyone will be dressed exactly the same before they arrive somewhere, this has been a difficult amount of change to process.

Despite a general freeing of sartorial norms over the past five or so years, dress codes both written and unwritten persist. In no particular order, these are my favorites I’ve encountered.

*No five-pocket pants. Two in the front and two in the back shall be the limit of storage. An inch-and-a-half coin-slip inside a front pocket is an affront to decency, even though it doesn’t affect the silhouette of the pant one iota. That a mini-pocket is useful for ballmarkers and five-pocket pants tend to be made of more durable fabrics for outdoor activities are irrelevant factors.

*No big logos. Even if you’re a pro paid to wear a hat embossed with Titleist, TaylorMade, Callaway, Ping, etc., leave it in the car. After the round, we’ll retire to the bar and idolize the best golfers in the world wearing the same hats on TV.

*No hoodies. These are actually fine to wear as they’re now carried in the pro shops of virtually all the greatest courses. Just refer to all said articles strictly as “hooded golf apparel.” Consult the club linguist for other rules on diminutive suffixes.

*No boldly patterned socks. Yes, this can actually be a thing.

*No exceptions for children. They shall be tried as adults. Don’t tell the committee it’s hard keeping up with their sizes and infantine whims. We know what’s best to grow this game.

*No denim on these dates. A dressy pair of jeans is usually expensive, and we don’t wish to prevent members and their guests from feeling and looking their best. But for the sake of adding extra sentences to our rule book and potentially (hopefully?) creating awkward conversations in the future, let’s sharply cleave the seasonal calendar of their permission into two, like King Solomon.

*No hats in the interstitial. “No covers under cover” or gentlemen removing hats while indoors is a gracious and near-universal manner of polite society. But at our club, we regard the space underneath a narrow section of awning at the door leading to the men’s locker room as “inside” even though it is outside. Like an expertly positioned flytrap, this delicious little local rule allows staff and enthusiastic members to pounce on the non-conditioned and enjoy sweet superiority, however fleeting.

Fashion fights are fun because the stakes are low. But looser guidelines for clothes don’t pertain to cellphones—let’s continue to keep those quiet. While I’ll always care more about the shot you hit than what you’re wearing, a tradition of elegance is yet another reason why I love this game and why I’m pleased to present the second Golf Digest Style Issue.

And if I could offer just one dress code idea in earnest: Whatever you think is the floor of acceptability for the circumstances of where and with whom you’re playing golf, just raise it a notch or two.