Viktor Hovland’s perfect post, Tiger Woods’ surprising PDA and a golfer’s ode to 'Severance'

Welcome to another edition of The Grind, where we’re still trying to wrap our heads around that wild and weird “Severance” Season 2 finale. The baby goat. The baby crib. The … marching band? We’ll stop with the spoilers, but in the meantime, we put together (shout-out to our Luke Hooten) this ode to the show in which an “innie” (your separate office personality) finds out his “outie” (your separate outside-the-office personality) is a golfer. A bad golfer. Actually, a bad golfer and a bad guy.

Great show, but those poor innies can never play golf? Talk about a sad life. OK, now back to our regularly scheduled program. There’s plenty of actual golf stuff to talk about so let’s make Kier proud.

WE’RE BUYING

Viktor Hovland: Considering this guy was the best player on the planet at the end of 2023, it’s incredible to think he had been in a 19-month winless drought. And one that had only gotten worse with three consecutive missed cuts, including one at the Players in which he shot an opening 80. Golf is crazy like that, though, and after trying a bunch of different things—from switching coaches to switching putters to even switching golf shoes—to try to get back on track, Hovland did exactly that at the Valspar Championship, grabbing his (long-awaited) seventh career PGA Tour title.

It was great seeing Viktor back in the winner’s circle—especially because it meant seeing more of him in the media center, where the dude delivered candid comments all week. But he saved his best and most concise message for after he hoisted a trophy that surprised even himself:

“Stupid, stupid game.” Indeed, Viktor. But it’s also the best game. Even when you don’t have your best stuff.

Billy Horschel’s lefty swing: We know these guys are good and all that, but this is freaking ridiculous. Not only did Horschel pure one lefty, he did it with his righty club flipped around and wound up making birdie on the hole:

No wonder he has his Atlanta Drive on the precipice of a first TGL title!

Anything Augusta National is selling: We’ve always known how coveted Masters merchandise is (if you haven’t read Max Adler’s story on the FBI cracking down on a long-running stolen-goods ring there, do yourself a favor). And in recent years, Augusta National has expanded to selling those “Taste of the Masters” kits. But this year, the club added to its offering something called the “Azalea kit” so people can make their own Azalea cocktails.

They should serve that at the next Lumon office party! Keep in mind this kit includes no alcohol (you provide that yourself) and costs $65. And yet, it sold out in a couple hours. Talk about a powerful brand!

WE’RE SELLING

Justin Thomas’ finish: Perhaps even more stunning than Hovland’s 19-month winless drought is the fact that Thomas is approaching three YEARS without a win. And it was especially stunning considering he looked to have the Valspar locked up with three holes to go. But bogeys on 16 and 18, while Hovland went on a late birdie binge, doomed him.

Good job by Thomas doing media after, though. On the bright side, JT shot 65-66 on the weekend at a difficult golf course a week after shooting that sensational 62 at TPC Sawgrass. So a win is close. We think. As we saw with Hovland, you never know in this stupid, stupid game.

Sergio Garcia’s finish: The Spaniard continued his good play with a fourth-place finish on the Asian Tour’s International Series (Really, the LIV Series) Macau, but he missed earning a spot in the Open Championship by one shot. And that shot was a missed three-foot birdie putt on the final hole. Ouch.

On the flip side, congrats to winner Carlos Ortiz, Patrick Reed and Jason Kokrak (Remember him?!) on locking up their spots in the field at Royal Portrush this summer. And Sergio still has time to play himself into both the U.S. and British Opens—especially with that new LIV exemption. By the way, imagine having to explain the whole PGA Tour vs. LIV battle to an “innie”? You’d need an entire episode.

Players losing their minds: Seriously, what in the world is in the water at Innisbrook? Or did Lumon botch some severance surgeries? In a 24-hour span, we saw three all-time PGA Tour tantrums. First, Patton Kizzire punting his putter:

Then Sahith Theegala hurling a club:

And last, but certainly not least, Adam Hadwin smashing the ground with a club, causing a sprinkler to come on:

You could see how bad Adam felt with that “Sorry” as he tried to get the water to stop to no avail. Wild scenes.

ON TAP

With a fantastic Florida Swing in the books, the PGA Tour heads west for a little Texas two-step, which begins with this week’s Texas Children's Houston Open, AKA that one Scottie Scheffler didn’t win last year. Scheffler’s most dominant stretch of 2024 saw him win four of five events, including the Masters, but he missed a four-foot birdie putt on the 72nd hole in Houston to lose by a shot. Elsewhere, the inaugural TGL season will conclude with the second night of a best-of-three championship series between New York Golf Club and Atlanta Drive after a dramatic opening match won by Atlanta on Monday. And I will be in attendance to check out the new league live for the first time. I know there’s no cheering in the press box, but it will be difficult as a longtime New York Golf Club fan. Also, I saw Mark Steinberg on my JetBlue flight. I wonder if he’s a Mosaic member. I bet he’s a Mosaic member. Good for him. Maybe I’ll get to that level one day.

Random tournament fact: Stephan Jaeger won last year’s Houston Open for his first career PGA Tour title. In addition to beating Scheffler, he also held off Tony Finau, Thomas Detry, Taylor Moore and Alejandro Tosti by a single shot in one of the craziest finishes of the season.

RANDOM PROP BETS OF THE WEEK

—Stephen Jaeger will win the Houston Open again: 45-to-1 odds

—Scottie Scheffler will win the Houston Open this time: 3-to-1 odds

—Stephen will be telling his grandkids about beating Scottie: LOCK

TWEET OF THE WEEK (GOLFER DIVISION)

Of course, 99.99 percent of golfers would kill for that kind of “riveting” golf.

TWEET OF THE WEEK (TOUR WIFE DIVISION)

Well played, Jessica.

VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK (TOUR PRO DIVISION)

Bryson DeChambeau launched his new driver with LA Golf by launching a drive and almost taking out a drone:

This guy is an electric factory.

VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK (LUCKY DIVISION)

Look at this incredible find/bargain at a thrift shop:

Now that's a deal.

THIS WEEK IN PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION (ON-COURSE DIVISION)

Watch the reaction of Ellie Mansell’s reaction to husband Richard Mansell winning his maiden DP World Tour title at the Porsche Singapore Classic:

And she showed good quickness and hops running onto the 18th green and leaping into his arms:

Good stuff.

THIS WEEK IN PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION (OFF-COURSE DIVISION)

Tiger Woods confirmed the rumors that he is in a relationship with Vanessa Trump:

I did not have a “Love is in the air” caption from Tiger on my BINGO card, but glad he’s in good spirits considering his latest injury. And considering their kids’ golf prowess, that will really cut down on travel costs to these junior tournaments!

And then there was the Hadwins’ version of the post:

Well played again, Jessica.

THIS WEEK IN CELEBRITY GOLFERS

Tiger was also on the mind of his buddy and business partner, Justin Timberlake, who honored the 15-time major champ by making his own version of Woods’ iconic “Better than most putt.” Just on his tour plane:

That’s taking “feel free to move about the cabin” to a whole new level. And then there was Casper Ruud talking about knocking off playing Augusta National from the top of his bucket list—and shooting in the 70s to boot:

What a stud athlete.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“I hit a lot of disgusting shots, but they just happened to go where I looked.” —Viktor Hovland. This guy might be harder on himself than Hideki Matsuyama.

THIS AND THAT

Congrats to Jacob Bridgeman on finishing in third place at the Valspar to earn $600K just a couple weeks after taking home $800K at the Cognizant Classic, the two biggest paychecks of his career. Or as Severance's Mr. Milchick would say, "Congratulations on your colossal compensations." … Canyata, the most exclusive club in Golf Digest’s 100 Greatest Courses, has been sold. And if I lived in rural Illinois and had $25K to burn, I’d love to join. … I got multiple press releases that Scott Van Pelt would be at the SoFi Center in person for the first time for the finals. Funny, no one made a big deal about me going there. … And, finally, Scottie Scheffler shared his Masters Champions Dinner menu and, once again, it looks fantastic:

It also looks like the Golf Digest crew in Augusta will have to order skillet chocolate chip cookies from Chili’s again in his honor:

Can’t wait.

RANDOM QUESTIONS TO PONDER

When was the last time Scottie Scheffler ate at Chili’s?

What’s the nearest thrift store to me?

How the heck is “Severance” going to end?